A Silly, Somewhat Effeminate Gesture
Last night I dreamed that there was a little boy doing a pull-up on a bar in a gym. He was dressed like a responsible adult but was a little boy. He was wearing business clothes. He was being watched and coached by a male gym teacher. The little boy was able to do a pull-up with one arm without any expression on his face. He was good but it appeared that his emotions had been taken away. He had become talented but only to satisfy the gym teacher. In the background there were other little boys in a line taking turns at another pull-up bar. They were not good. One boy laughed as he tried and did not succeed. He was slightly embarrassed but also thought it was funny. He made a silly, somewhat effeminate gesture with his wrists afterwards and the other kids giggled along with him.
4 Comments:
It is isolating to succeed at things one doesn't want to. I felt a bit like this as a kid, though more with being good and with academics than gym (not with gym, no way!). I admire the boy in the dream who failed and laughed it off. I admire that he was openly himself by making a gay gesture. He had a long flip of blond hair and acne, both imperfect and expressive. It is hard to be either of the two kids. The gym teacher was like a father.
Was there no gym teacher with the other boys? Is that perhaps why they were freer to be themselves?
if this were my dream, i would stop to consider my emotions towards young gay men. do their effeminate, emotional way of handling things prevent them from being the boy who succeeds? is there a particular young man in your life this dream could concern?
The boy is you. The teacher is dad. Cutting off your expressiveness. The class clown is Dave. Barb
Post a Comment
<< Home