Back to high school...
My dad took David and I on a short trip to stay at my maternal grandmother's empty house. (Even though in real life my g.m. is deceased and her house has been leveled by rich folk to expand their sculpture garden). I had some clothes there and was figuring out what I should leave there for coming back again (so that I wouldn't have to bring much for future visits). I already did have some clothes there. It was a Sunday. My dad woke us up very early Monday morning and announced that we would be going to school for Monday and Tuesday of the trip at a high school nearby. I was pissed off about it because maybe I wouldn't have chosen to go on the trip if I knew that I would be spending two days at a high school! But David said, "Well, he has to have us do this, because it's illegal for children under eighteen not to go to school." So David and I went to the school. It was very large and anonymous, not a bad place to be. David and I separated at the school, and I started hanging out with a few kids there pretty easily. I thought of going to the school nurse and saying that I was sick so I could go home but then I worried if that was also illegal! So I didn't.
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I'm home from work sick with a cold. I always feel guilty calling in sick to work even when I'm sick, it's not a busy day at work, and I have a lot of sick days. I have to punish myself for it by dreaming that I'm in high school all day. Another thought: Yesterday I told one of my therapy patients who is very cool and started homeschooling because he would panic in high school that there is nothing worse than high school. He is now in twelth grade after several years of home instruction and is planning to go to the School of Visual Arts. I've been attempting to build his confidence that this will be different from high school. He agrees and is very excited about it. Another thought: It is my mom's sixtieth birthday today. Another thought: Dave, Dad, and I moved to NYC and left my mom in Ohio.
It could've had to do with grandma/me/school/hospital--you leaving and feeling guilty, and not wanting to leave or sep. entirely, and leaving things behind to keep contact. A dream of sep anx--gr'ma was v. sick beginning now--10 years ago. Barb
What a rich and complex dream! In the dream, did you ever see your grandmother? Or do you think her house instead symbolized something else?
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